Flashback
by Death by Fallen Star
Summary: It's when you see the puddle leeking out of the door that flashbacks return. Roger and Mimi. Drabble.


**Disclaimer:**** I don't own Rent. Jonathan Larson, who is now RIP, does and I will forever be thankful to this genuis man.**

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**Flashback**

You aren't thinking of much. Just walking around the warm loft, hoping to find something to entertain you.

Your mind decides to amuse you. It reminds you of the fight you had last night. The fight with Mimi about her job. You wince at the memory of your selfishness, and how her eyes welled up. You try to forget, but your mind suddenly remembers the words you shouted at her and you can't stop them from ringing.

"_I just don't understand why you have to work at a place like that!"_

It sounds so simple to you. But yet you knew what it implied and with all the force behind it. It offended her. You let that happen.

You try to fast forward though the rest of the fight….. The yelling….. The near tears with her….. Only to get to the end. Then you hear the words you don't mind as much.

"_You're just too good for that place. I worry about you. I love you, you know that."_

All she had done after that was smile at you and nod. She asked to sleep and you did, there wasn't another word said about the topic.

She had left that morning after you two awoke. She said it was to shower and clean herself up, but she has been gone longer then usual, and you feel the need to go check on her. You tell your roommate you'll be back, and leave without another word.

You go to knock on her door, but you hear the bath water running loudly. Some small part of you quietly clicks, but you ignore it and just go inside.

You look around, and when you don't see her, your pulse quickens. Your not sure why.

_She's probably just taking a bath,_ your mind reasons. You agree, but some other part of you still worries.

You walk to where you know her bathroom is and see the door is closed. Your eyes on their own, travel to the bottom of the door.

There's a small puddle on the floor, that's leaked through the bathroom, like water pouring out of it.

Everything in you stops, and your mind reels back to not so long ago.

_You've been in this place before. Only, it was your loft. And when you see the water coming from the door, you don't think much of it. You open the bathroom door wide, to see what she has spilt._

_But all you see is red._

_Red messy hair._

_Red shaver blade._

_Red stained bathtub._

_Red stained floor._

_Red water._

_And finally, your eyes settle on the one thing they hoped to avoid._

_Red cut wrist._

_You make no noise and walk to see if this unrealistic fact, is true._

_When you see her pale white face, you hear a low pitched yell._

_It's not till Mark runs in, that you realize it was you who screamed._

_The rest is a blur of sorrow, and death._

As this runs through your mind, you grow afraid of what's behind the door. You swing it open and your eyes fall to the bathtub. All you see though is the running water and no red.

"Roger?"

It's when you hear this small noise, you think to look at the ground. When you do, you see Mimi, kneeling on the ground and staring at you with wide curious eyes. A bucket is spilt next to her, and in her hand is a cloth.

"Babe, what are you doing?" you think she says. Right now all of your body is slowly realizing, and you can't focus on much else. She smiles. You feel yourself shake.

"I was…. Cleaning out my bathtub," she says slowly, pulling you closer to reality. "I spilt a bucket of water." When you don't speak, she starts to look worried. "Did something happen?"

And there is when you break.

You fall on your knees, wrap your arms around her shoulders, and bury your face into her neck. You shake, knowing that tears are coming, but you do your best to hold them back.

"Mimi," you finally whimper out.

"What is it, Roger?" she asks carefully, wrapping her arms around your torso. She rubs your back soothingly. "Is everything okay?" she asks again.

You start to cry and hold her tighter. Every bad thing that could possibly have happened, might have. All you want now - all you _need_ now - is to hold her and know she's there.

"Roger, baby, what is it?" she asks again. You hear the pleading in voice to tell her.

But all you can stutter out is, "M-M-Mimi."

"It's okay Roger," she soothes, rubbing your back. "Tell me what happened."

You just clutch her closer and try to breath her in.

"Roger your pants are going to get -" she stops. You feel her freeze, and you know she has realized why your acting this way. "Oh, Roger," she mutters and wraps around your torso, holding you tightly. "Roger baby," she mutters into your body.

You start to shake as your body wants you to cry, but you don't think it's necessary. She's _here_. She's _alive_. What more could you want?

After what seems like forever, she loosens her hold. You don't. You're still to emotional to do that.

"Look at me," she says.

You oblige and pull away. Your hands stay on her, making sure she stays within your touch. You look at her eyes, tears streaming down them and worry shown. You didn't want that to happen, and now guilt works its way into your heart.

She puts a hand on your cheek. Her voice is light when she speaks, but you hear her, "Roger, you got scared, didn't you?"

You nod.

"You thought something bad happened?"

You nod.

She's silent.

You just stare at her, suddenly needing to take in every one of her features.

"I love you, Roger," she says suddenly. "I thought you knew that."

And suddenly, your body shakes again, and you find your voice.

"I know that, Mimi. I love you too. I just -" She stops you by her hand over your mouth.

"Roger, if you know I love you, then why would you even consider thinking I would leave you like that?" she asks, dropping her hand.

It make sense. She did love you, and love meant not to leave each other by your will's. But you once thought April loved you, and she left you the second something frightened her.

"I love you so much Roger," Mimi says, her voice stuffed. She takes your hands in hers. "So, very much. Which means I will never _ever_ do something like that to you."

You just look at her, your voice lost once more. Suddenly a final key falls into place for your relationship.

Mimi does love you.

April never could have.

"I'm so sorry, Mimi," you say. Your voice scratchy from all of your past sobs. "I…. I just saw something repeating. I was scared." Something inside you lifts, and you know that everything is going to be okay.

She smiles warmly at you. "I understand. You just have to trust me and not your past, okay?"

"Okay," you say staring at her.

You lean in and kiss her gently.

You kiss her and hold her because she's here. Alive, loving you. Not scared of tomorrow, or the next day. Here with you to fight through it all.

April left you.

Mimi loves you, and will stay with you.

No more flashbacks will ever make you compare them to Mimi.

**The End**

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**A/N:** So, yeah, I liked it. Did you? Tell me please. Also, I'm thinking of making a second chapter in Mimi's POV. I dunno, give opions. And if you _do_ think I should, suggest where I should start off from.

Review is mine heroin, and unlike Mimi and Roger, I just can't quit wanting more! You guys are my The Man's! Help me out Daddy if you can!

Lmao.... I'm funny. JK :D


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